Once upon a time, in the first week of term, last year’s panto organisers Jen Stout and Caleb Miller came to HP180 to ask if we (Catherine Toolan, Rosie Mammatt, and Hette Houtman) wanted to organise this year’s panto. Duty called, and we answered. We swiftly set out to start the preparations for this prestigious event.
We set week 3 as the deadline to decide what story we would parody (2 weeks behind schedule). Luckily, some brainstorming on the (slightly hungover) morning after last year’s panto afterparty had already produced a strong candidate: Shrek. We agreed that the plot would be hard to adapt, but the potential for great songs would more than make up for it. During a general assembly of PhD students, it was decided almost unanimously that Shrek was the best we could come up with (sorry Rhiannon, maybe you can do Stratatouille next year). And so it was that Thorwald Stein came to be portrayed as an ogre.
Plot
By week 8 (5 weeks behind schedule) the plot was finally ironed out.
Thorwald Stein, a happy and eco-friendly researcher, is having a meeting with PhD student DonkeyBrian Lo, when a horde of fairytale characters barge into his swam-, err office. They bring the news that head of department, Lord Charquaad-Perez, has turned off the heating in most of the building to cut down on carbon emissions! When Thorwald demands an end to this nonsense, Lord Charquaad-Perez tells Thorwald he can have the heating back on if he brings down the dreaded FAAM-dragon, which is breathing out loads of carbon and taking up most of their carbon budget.
Thus, Thorwald and his trusty companion DonkeyBrian set out on this quest to bring back peace to the department. They are joined by Lord Charquaad’s minion, Chris in Westboots, who keeps an eye on things for his master. When they finally reach the far, far away land of Wessex and spot the FAAM-dragon, they discover that world-renowned climate scientist FionEd Hawkins is trapped on it! As is panto tradition, Maarten Ambaum (portrayed as Prince Charming) tells our heroes that his textbook on thermal physics contains the secrets they need to bring down the plane. But alas, all its copies have been stolen from the library! Luckily, in an ode to the retiring SCENARIO DTP coordinator Wendy Neale and her seemingly magical powers in keeping this department running, Fairy Wendymother comes to the rescue. She waves her magic wand and down comes the dreaded FAAM-dragon.
After a long journey (made even longer because their newly set travel carbon budget ran out on the way back), the crew return to the department. Thorwald and FionEd set out to cut down the department’s carbon emissions even further, but are thwarted by Lord Charquaad-Perez, who promises FionEd 3TB of storage on the sshRACC if she works on a paper with him instead of attempting to reduce the department’s carbon emissions.
A fight ensues, and in the chaos Lord Charquaad-Perez is taken prisoner by the FAAM dragon. Thorwald and FionEd sneak into Lord Charquaad’s office and discover that it wasn’t FAAM but he himself who had been using up 80% of the budget – on Virgin Galactic tourist flights to the stratosphere! “That man must really love the stratosphere”, FionEd rightly says.
With Lord Charquaad’s silly emissions no longer an issue, and the implementation of some ingenious emission-reducing measures from FionEd and Thorwald (like reusable coffee cups), the department becomes truly green, and can finally live la vida eco.
Songs
“Live la vida eco? What’s that?”, we hear you ask. Livin’ la vida eco was an adaptation of the absolute banger of a song by Ricky Martin, on which we ended the panto. And it wasn’t the only bop to be played by the band that night: All-Star by Smash Mouth (‘Ed Hawkins once told me the world is gonna warm up’), Funkytown by Lipps Inc. (‘Won’t you get me some heating now?’), Holding out for a hero by Bonnie Tyler (‘I need you Wendy’), I’m a believer by Smash Mouth (‘Donkey made me change, now I’m a lot cleaner’), and finally Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne (‘Working on papers she’s all alone’ – we will admit this one didn’t make a lot of sense, but we just wanted to play the song). All killer, no filler.
Once again, Flynn Ames and his protege Nathaniel Edward-Inatimi did a superb job of organising the band. Their incredible talent and months of practise meant that by the time the song rehearsals came around (just two weeks before the show), they sounded amazing. The singers, however, did not. But after a few rehearsals, we’d come out of our shells and were able to put out a (hopefully) respectable performance!
A special thanks must also go to Beth Saunders for her many years of panto knowledge, insane drumming skills and helping us get back into the swing of live pantos after the covid years. You’ll be missed next year!
Casting
The job of casting the roles this year seemed to be too easy. First year Robby Marks’ fatal “I don’t mind” remark led to him becoming the title character. Similar mistakes from Niamh O’Callaghan, who u-turned from “absolutely not” to “oh go on then” in a matter of seconds, led to her becoming the esteemed climate scientist FionEd Hawkins.
As many of the other parts had relatively few lines, it was great to have so many students wanting to get involved. This led to a great atmosphere both on and off stage – we’re hoping this enthusiasm is still there when we start looking for next year’s organisers…
The Night of the Panto
Tickets had been sold (about 150 of them!). Props had been made, songs had been practised. The backstage cupboard was full, Robby’s face had been painted green. The cast were assembled and waiting at 5pm sharp. But wait – who was this in the Madejski lecture theatre? Surprise! An unexpected law lecture until 6pm!
With the doors due to open at 7pm, we were feeling the pressure. Thankfully, due to a fair amount of preparation earlier in the day between lectures, many of the time- consuming tasks like setting the band up had already been done. With all hands- on deck and some tactical delaying of the audience (by keeping them by the buffet for longer) we were ready to go by 7.15.
The first act was underway and the performance was going well. Nobody had forgotten their lines (yet). At the end of the first act, a quick glance at the watch relieved that we’d whistled through it in under half an hour… eek!
Fortunately, we had three fantastic interval acts to keep us entertained in the break. Blair McGinness revealed the results of the Big Biscuit Bracket 2023 – why did more than half of you vote for bourbons over chocolate leibniz? Next came the latest episode of Jon Shonk’s much-anticipated Mr Mets series, which was as fantastic as ever. And finally, Chris Scott serenaded us with a handwritten ditty about the fake panto poster on the second floor window, supported by his dancer/backing singer(?) Matt Owens.
It was time for the second act to get underway. The end of many months of (behind schedule and therefore slightly panicked) writing and rehearsing was in sight, and the performance was wrapped up with a rousing version of Ricky Martin’s famous Livin’ la Vida Eco. Applause was demanded by our cupboard signs, the audience delivered!
Afterwards, it was time for the swiftest take down you’ve ever seen and a night on the tiles, I mean in the coffee room, with DJ Shonk!
Reflections
After lots of hard work, many to-do lists, and more than a few days of PhD research missed, it was very rewarding to see everyone’s efforts come together on the night and to contribute to a long-standing department tradition. Once again, we were reminded that our department is full of people with talents that lie well outside of the field meteorology! We are also proud to say that we delivered (probably) the cheapest evening out in Reading – we believe the panto has remained at the same bargain price of £5 per adult since its beginning in 1992…
Did we enjoy the experience? Yes, we did. Do we want jobs as directors or producers on the West End? No thank you!
We would like to thank everyone who attended, contributed to, performed in or supported the panto in any way, shape or form. There are too many of you to list here, so just know that your efforts are appreciated!
The Social Metwork 